My Name is Maria. I am a little girl, and I ran away from home. My father is very BRUTAL and he always punched me and my brothers and sisters. We are seven children and our mother died, because she becomes ill.
On this day my dad punched me again. I cannot understand him, I had done everything he wanted. On this morning I went to work and when I come home, he was not very friendly, so I ran away. I went to the family, where I work every day, but I cannot get into the house, because there is no work for me, and I am a little bit afraid of the chef.
So I was the whole day in the garden and wait for the next day.
Suddenly I woke up. It is dark night. Mr. Rochester and Jane are in the garden too. They are talking about marrying. Jane began to cry and say that she did not want to walk away. I understand her very well, this job here is very good. The people are very friendly. But I am afraid that they can be angry with me, when I say something. So I am so quiet I can.
I am not able to respond about what they talk.
But a long time ago I had recognize that Jane likes Mr. Rochester very much. She had fallen in love. I also knows that Mr. Rochester like to marry Misses Ingramm. I do not understand why he talks with Jane about that.
Does he love her too? “Jane, will you marry me?”, he suddenly asks her. I do not recognize this. Mr. Rochester is a chief. He own`s this house and many people work for him, Jane also. They are not allowed to marry. Why does he love her?
They go into the house. Now I am waiting till 8 o´clock, that I can began to work.
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t: we were seven children / she became ill (2)
exp: one day my dad punched ... ("on this day" is impossible as you talk about a past event here!) (2)
t: I couldn't ... (2)
str: Connect sentences properly! I couldn't understand him because I had ... (1)
exp: that morning (1) (no preposition either!)
t: I came home ...
exp: "he was not very friendly"--> badly expressed
t: couldn't get ... (1) there was no ... (A strange reason: normally people can't get in because they have no key ...)
exp: "chef" = sehr guter Koch ???
wo: so I was in the garden the whole day (3)
t: waited (1)
t: it was dark (1)
t: they were in the garden (1)
t: they were talking about ...
t: she said ...(1)
exp: "walk away" - better: leave!
t: understood (1)
str. ... because the job was very good.
t: the people were friendly
t: ... that they will be angry (2)
exp: so I am as quiet as possible (2)
exp/t: "to respond about what they talk"? --> to repeat what they were talking about ??? (3)
g: I had recognized (3)
t: Jane liked ...
t: I knew (1)
exp: "liked to marry" --> wanted to marry (2)
t: I didn't understand why he was talking ...
t: Did he love ...? ... he suddenly asked her (1)
exp/t: "I do not recognize this." - Ich erkenne das nicht wieder. ??? (3)
exp: "chief" ---> Stammeshäuptling (3)
sp: owns (2)
exp: "jane also" -> "so does /did Jane" (1)
t: they were not allowed to marry --C???
t: Why did he love her? (1)
t: they went ...
g: that I can begin (3) - "can" is followed by an infinitive
This is a fairly weak story and you always switch back and forth between past and present tense. The beginning has nothing to do with the main story. You make many mistakes. Note: Don't forget that you were not asked to do this at the very last moment. You had more than a month to do it.
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